Lost my Sweet William: Curfews in Chicago and other major cities. Why Not?

Just over two months ago, I lost a child, an adult child, but my child and the hurt is penitratingly deep. His was a needless loss and it is still difficult for me to rationalize this great emptiness. I don't think the hurt will ever go away. I started to think of all the young lives that are being needlessly lost in our major cities. Why aren't their names being read outloud somewhere, some place? I decided to see if I could find their names. The Chicago Sun Times publishes the names of the victums, their race, where and the time of their deaths. I started to scroll through the homicides just in August, 2020. From the 1st through the 23, which is today. There were forty homicides listed. Most were male and most were black. No one is mentioning these black lives, I know they matter because I know the hurt of a mother who has lost a child. In the most rudimentary fashion, I compiled the times of the murders 88% were killed in the evening hours but most were in the wee hours of the morning. The solution seems so simple, a curfew from 8 pm to 6 am. Why isn't this happening? I couldn't read the circumstances of these senseless murders because the Chicago Sun Times blocked my entrance after reading a few, wanting me to subscribe. My perfuncory interest was not enough to pay the fee. The few details I was able to read, told of people sitting or standing and a car comes along, and opened fire on these people. Like I said, I only read the details of three. Besides the listed deceased, there were usually others who were hospitalized. This kind of trauma affects so many, an entire community. I decided to see who is the major of the city. It is a black woman, Lori Lightfoot, married to another woman, Amy Eshleman raising a daughter. Certainly she has had challenges. Why isn't she doing something. It seems so simple to me, impose a curfew. Arrest those who violate the curfew. That simple act which a major could institute could have saved 37 lives. Why isn't she honoring these dead? Why don't the Republicans in this political year, at their convention, have an ongoing list of these deaths to bring awareness that their lives matter.

The Lost Locket

My grandmother, Myrtle Buist Smith, living in Brigham City, Utah, gave me a locket when I was about eight years old. We had been vacationing in Utah and it was time to go back to our home in Sagainaw, Michigan. Just before we left, Grandma Myrtle went into her jewelry box and found a special locket which she gave to me. It was gold on a gold chain, it was engraved with a delicate floral design, the clip on the side opened the inside which contained a picture of my grandmother and grandfather. Attached to the bottom was a natural pearl which was not symmetrical. I wore it as we drove to the Grand Canyon a slight detour on our way home. At the Hoover Dam, a guard rail lined the viewing area. I looked over the rail to see the vast amount of water flowing down the dam. As I pulled my head back, the chain of my locket caught on the guard rail and broke while the special locket fell down to the rushing water and ravine below. I have never forgotten the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon because of their vast magnificence and also for the loss of my locket. Love, Grammy, Mimi, Dammy

A Company of One

Some time in life we will find ourselves by ourself and we will be me. There are many things that can be done to keep good company of one. The guest of valuing life and existence and finding ways to appreciate this state of being. I had such a wonderful life with my dear husband and our six children. My husband is not here now having "passed" but I hope to make this time meaningful and keep a momentum going. I can only honor that wonderful life my continuing to make it meaningful. There was a great talk about good, better and best which echoes so often in my thoughts. So much of the time I spend in good but I am striving for better and I actually have time in best and those times are when I am in service of others. So these entries in my blog will now be the power of one without becoming one centric. Making good, healthy food for one, music for one, entertainment for one, travel, etc. Hope I will write more than once a year. Ole

Difficult Update

I have not updated our Blog for two years because I could not bring myself to say that George died. Since that time, I have dedicated my time to connecting with our wonderful Grandchildren and helping our seven, sensational children and their spouses which are like our own children. After Dad died suddenly, March 2nd, 2009, our home in Northborough, Massachusetts sold. Two of our sons, Patrick and Will, were still living at home and helping me. I decided to retire from teaching in Worcester, MA and move to Michigan where my dear husband was interned. I don't remember much about the move as Will did most of the work cleaning us out. Patrick and I were working right up until the moving van arrived but we teamed together with our Northborough Ward members and somehow a full moving van and three filled vehicles travelled from Northborough, MA to Michigan. The move was a miracle and one of the many tender mercies which I believe George helps us with. Since Dad died, we have felt his help in so many ways, Brad passed his CFA examinations and received his charter. Patrick was readmitted to Brigham Young University to complete his studies, Will passed the Connecticut and Utah Bar examinations and was accepted into the Army Judge Advocate Corps as a reservist. Rob graduated from BYU with honors and was accepted into the University Of Chicago's Law School. Both Brad/Lisa and Wally/Rachel were able to purchase homes that met their family needs. Amanda has been able to be a full time Mom thanks to Duncan's work. Both Brad and Duncan work in the financial industry and have been successful in maintaining their professions in this most difficult financial atmosphere. The same with Walter whose profession as an architect has been heavily hit by the recession. We feel Dad's guiding influence and we are so grateful for his incredible example and continual concern for all of us. We love him so much.

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A Christmas Surprise.

I just got back from a surprise trip to Texas where I was the one surprised. I was going there to surprise Wally and Ethan (grandson #1) for their birthdays. However, when Brad and Morley (grandson #2) arrived to pick me up instead of Rachel, Wally's wife, I stood all amazed. Rachel was in on all the surprises. I guess I got "punked" as in the TV show of the same name. I saw a white car drive up which I did not recognize but the “driver looked so lively and quick I knew in a moment that it must be. . Saint” BRAD! Yes, the second look confirmed that Brad was getting out of the car. What a surprise. With shock, it takes a moment for the brain to make some type of connection hence the blank look which I am sure I had and which would soon be on Wally’s face as we headed to Wally and Rachel’s home.

I sat in the back, simply enjoying the fun and little Morley while Brad found his way miraculously to 5916 Brookside Drive, Argyle, TX. We rang the doorbell and Wally opened the door wearing the “blank look.” It soon registered that there was a fun weekend underway. The entire entourage stayed at Wally and Rachel’s home which was festooned with Christmas cheer. It was great and much gratitude is extended to Rachel for keeping all the secrets and preparing her home for all of us, food, lodging and entertainment. Lisa, Brad's wife, could not fly because of her pregnancy. Brad said she wouldappreciate a weekend of rest from a very active 16 month old. I heard that she spend one day just cleaning. Not exactly restful but we can all relate to that feeling, the impossibility of getting cleaning done with little ones around.

Brad was great alone with Morley which might have been a little scary for Brad to be the primary caregiver. While Brad struggled to get an overly extended Morley to sleep, Grandma couldn’t resist creeping up to see the other grandchildren “all snuggled asleep in their beds.” Ethan woke up and in his haze saw Grandma. Certainly, he thought he was dreaming.

The next morning, Lauren, Ethan and Amelia had “cozy-time” with Grammi while Morley slept. Ethan shared his “Wonderful Wolf” award that he recently received at his elementary school. A large, medal medallion held with a ribbon just like an Olympian award. We were all so proud of him for this honor given to exemplary students.

We had to be at Wazoos at 10:00 a.m. where Ethan was having his "friends" birthday party. Wazoos is a warehouse full of inflated jumpables. Grammi even got into the act and had a great workout. Morley favored balls every size and shape. And although a little young for Wazoos, did catch on to jumping. Little Amelia kept trying to get Grammi to crawl into impossilbe places. After cupcakes and treats, we went back to Wally and Rachel’s house for real food of which was a great quacamole dip. Morley was resisting a nap as I am sure his schedule was definitely “off” so Brad and Grammi drove around while he slept. We drove to our townhouse in Lewisville as Brad had never seen it and I needed to “check” on our investment as part of the trip was for that purpose. Supposedly, the lawn maintenance crew had chipped the double glass at the front entrance but I could not see the chip.

Back at Wally and Rachel’s home, I suggested to Ethan that he show Grammi how he rides his bike. We enjoyed some bike time and pretty soon, Lauren was biking, Amelia was pushing her baby cart and Morley was pushing an emergency vehicle. Wally and Rachel put on rollerblades so everyone except Brad and Grammi were on wheels. It was a windy but a warm Texas afternoon and we couldn’t have had more fun.

Wally and Rachel enjoy a great restaurant in Fort Worth called Jimmy T Garcia’s where only two dishes are served; enchiladas and fajitas. It is an indoor and outdoor restaurant. We chose indoor with the children but the great music and enchanting Texas ambiance is stronger outside but so is the smoking. Little brick walkways lace among fountains and tree canopies. The fragrance of sizzling steak and the laughter of people trills off into the star lit night. The brilliant full moon dominated the sky. This short, sweet day was about to close.

Sunday morning and new toys from the birthday and grammi/grandpy could have made for a busy morning but Wally and Rachel have a super way of defining the activities. Without being negative about what can and cannot be done on Sunday, they simply remind the children what level of activity is allowed on certain occasions. I heard them telling the children it was not a level three day. Sometime they will have to explain the concept to the grandparents. We are on a learning curve also. We try to follow the rules of each family.

My tears of gratitude followed Brad and Morley as they had to leave for the airport earlier than did I. I stood waving bye-bye in my blue robe while basking in a sunny, Sunday Texas morn. It was a wonderful surprise, a memory distilling of special time with loved ones, seeing nuances of grandbabies and connecting with dear children. Thank you to all who made this weekend possible: Rachel as hostess with the mostess and secret keeper, Wally as surprisee and Birthday Man, Lisa as facilitator, Grampy as provider, Brad as magic maker and Birthday Man, Morley as good sport, Ethan as Wonderful Wolf and Birthday Boy, Lauren as supporter (taking Grammi’s hand and leading her to the podium when the primary sang “Hello” to Lauren’s Grandmother), Amelia Grace as sharer, Will as driver and Inn Keeper, Patrick as storm trooper (we had a big ice storm the day before I left.) and, hopefully, Duncan, Amanda, Hal and Holly as willing readers of this long blog entry. Love, MOM, Grammi, MaMa,